bleeding love

my heart is so heavy...
is like the song by leona lewis.. bleeding love...

im not feeling sad about myself...
but for my love...

when i notice or knowing more and more about him...
his past... his love story or so on...
my heart really feel the pain as he feels...

when i ever knw the news about his 1st love with her 1st love husband...
im so interested in it...
my mind is persueing me... get to knw more...
but my heart is juz like bleeding...
i felt so hard to breath...
my heart is so pain...
how can she treat my love like this....

when i ever saw any stuff about his 1st wife
all the notes, dairy, short msg......picture... smiling pictures...
its so hard to control my tears which seems to drop soonly...
all about their past...
either good nor bad, hapi nor sad, ......
when i heard him says: im so feel....
my heart is bleeding again....
i cant do anything for him
all of my mind is full of:
how can she treat my love like this...
how can she leaves all the pain, memories ....
by juz leaving him alone...

i cant take all this...
bcoz i love my love so much....

stop it! stop it!
i dun wan2 knw all about this anymore...
plz........ never ever appear on my mind again...
i cant take it...

im so helpless...
wat can i do....?!
to make my love hapi...
to make my love always fills wf joy....
forget all of this....

even me myself...
im not the main character of these love story....
feels so hard to forget....
how can i wish that my love can forget all this...

i keep telling myself...
i must love him...
i wan2 fill his mind full of our memories...
no longer pain, but joy...
no longer sad, but hapi...

can i overcome all this, Lord Jesus?
plz, give me the strength...
i need it so much

tq

i knw sumtimes im too dependent....
especially to u....
i oso dunno why...
my heart is always missing u....
u knw,i miss no man like u before....

u r the only man,
i wish to c everyday...
i wish to call all the day....
n i hope u understand my feeling....
i juz wish 2 c u....touch u.... feel u...

full of u

while we were going out the door which was so much ppl around...
u holding my hand... which was a easily break bond btw us.... T.T
but later u hold me into ur embrace...
i felt warm, sweet, hapi, loved....

when we look at the beautiful fireworks 2gather....
i felt there is hope....
our love will prevail...
as long as u r with me...( n i knw u r )

when u r sick (running nose)...
my heart was so heavy....
i hope i can do something 2 make u feel better....
(althought thats not work finally... )
n i wish that,
the one who with running nose is me....
i cant leave u so painful, which i cant do anything.... u knw?

later although u fell not well...
but u still care for my leg....
im so hapi when u carrying me...
walk thru the ppl, the cars, the road...
tat i have set up my mind....
u r my man....
i wont leave u..... i luv u

later when v sit on the floor....
i really felt that im a princess...
n u r my guarding angel....
i knw u felt cold....
but u still choose to protect me frm the cool wind...
u protect me like a precious pearl in ur arms...

tq...
n i thank God for u....
u r my guardian angel who sent by God...
n i will appreciate everything of u.....

收手啦...

就当我求求你...
不要再找我了...
不要再烦我了....

我和你再没有任何的关系...
你根本不是我的谁....

我真的很讨厌你,
你究竟要什么...
难道你要我死?
还是要我的钱..?
为什么还不放手?

不要再跟我讲废话了...
因为我已经有喜欢的人了...

我希望你能祝福我们,
而不是再来伤害和破坏...

为什么是我

为什么 是我

为什么要爱上我, 我不要你的爱护... 我不需要..
你真的让我有很大的压力, 我的人生, 一切都被你给毁了...
难道你还要坚持下去吗? 还要继续的伤害我吗?
难道你这样, 让大家都好过吗?

为什么? 我真的很后悔认识你
我甚至还埋怨神, 为什么要让我受这样的苦?
当我们在一起时, 你不珍惜我...
而且还一次又一次的答应, 忘记...反反覆覆...
当我提出分手时, 你也一样, 不断的伤害我...


我真的觉得, 你根本都不在意我的感受...
当我求你别再烦我, 你都不理睬, 还是坚持的来伤害我...
我不但不爱你了, 甚至还讨厌你...
我祷告神,这个世界上, 我们势不两立...

因为你, 让我添了许多麻烦,
我很不高兴... 在我一生人里, 这一次是我最想放弃人生的一次...
我觉得人生不再快乐, 不再自由...
过着一种被人监视, 被人捆绑的日子...
每天都提心吊胆...每天都不好过...

就当我求你, 当着我们从没认识过...
可以吗? 你要多少钱, 我都会给你...

xy- omg.....!!!

yy，xx今天要开始在教会打回鼓来事奉与赞美敬拜上帝了^^.怎么啦！？还对xx闷闷不乐吗？T.T.......一直有很多comment写在yy的post,xx不知yy喜不喜欢，但是xx知道yy只想先add回xx，还没有心情看到或联络xx，所以xx也只好等yy的回应，只能在fb post comment and communicate...
相信=我们的承偌，和上帝的带领
包容=你对我的不好,你的负面，软弱
忍耐=我们现在的关系
盼望=我们的将来
想您喔^^

wat the..yy &xx

yy，昨晚xx是要来找您谈问您为何打给我妈的事。我也是刚刚下摩多后才遇见您。如果我是在看您的话当我看到您开车时肯定躲起来，决不会向昨晚走出来让您看到。可是当我叫您是时您却不理我。您该不会是乱想些什么吧？我昨晚其实在下摩多后打算叫叫您，如果睡着了我就回家。yy从来完全没有要问问xx弄个明白(T.T)r然后就自己胡思乱想就做自己的决定(still rmb after 2 week i come find u? coz 1 of tis reason v broke up, coz u nvr ask me and do ur own decision. during 2 week actually u oso can call me if u hav any unconfortable thing, but u jus say jus wait for my calling. wait is not ur type as i know.)

i know call u u oso reject, yesterday i can follow u to find u explain wat happen actually, but i no do tat coz u don wan me follow, btw u maybe will think i try to cover my self wf other excuse. i don hope u think like tat, so yesterday i jus sms u only.

if u ask me now, i say i trust u at well. wat u think and do to me i don know, so trust is wat can i passion keep waiting. 爱=包容，相信，盼望，忍耐。我不知道现在该如何，所以包容，相信，盼望，忍耐是我唯一能做的，也是我对我们的的关系，我对您的爱让您相信我是认真的。

如果您问我到底要如何相信我，我会说：
容易的到的东西的确是不会珍惜，等到失去后才知道什么是最好。
您离开我后，我才清楚，知道也体会到您就是我的好(好=女+子)。yy这是xx一生以来第一次从人和自己中体会到的事。您说相信我对您的爱，说原谅我但就不愿和我复合，因为您是怕我又向以前一样不爽的待您和最重要的是我不会珍惜您吧？您的相信是口讲或心里话我不知，可是我相信您，因为我对神，您和自己都有相信，是发从自心里。

光说是没用的吧对您来说，所以我知道您为何要对我谈条件和对我有要求。我听您了，明白了，行动了，就是了^^

if some one ask me, i say if i can be gal few days, i think i could understand, know and 体会 U, i love wan. all ur feeling, situation and emotion.

原谅我 tis song i think u like the lyric bcoz the lyric is same as how u wan to say to me rite ?

too sad lar this song, how bout tis:

请听听 jay chow给我一手歌的时间，那是我现在的心情和想要和您表达的。but the lyric jus got 70 % is my heart voice, u guess ur self which 1 is my voice lol then ^^

娆燕婷的我在乎(两面专集)tis song is quick 80% of my heart voice

看来昨晚发生的事后您不会在短期内原谅我的。我只好忍耐，盼望，相信您。您xx原谅我的呼声，是我期待的。

i dun dare

i hate this part rite here..

i dun dare 2 b hurted by anybody..
i dun dare 2 luv n bluv
i dun dare 2 b in a relationship
i dun dare 2 hurt my love 1, n those who love me
i dun dare 2.....

why should i make a decision...
why should i draw a line
why should i tell the truth
why should i luv
why should i......

God, i thank You so much that, You loves me
but i always do things that had hurt You, Lord
God, plz dun leave me, but guide me...

GR... can i juz keep this in my heart...
i dun wan2 hurt u,
i really need ur care, ur luv 4 me... then i can survive
but i knw i cant do this, its 2 selfish...
luv is not selfish, but beautiful...
thankyou that u had taught me that...
i can really feel ur luv is around... everyday when im awake
but i canttell you that i will luv you forever...
coz i dun dare..


do u understand?

yy,对不起......

其实我有些事想和你说但是就不知要如何开口,我真的很在乎你,已经到了离不开你了.因為你的溫柔體貼又可以使我对你死心塌地，忠心的爱你一个让我離不開你，細心又貼心的你，让我完全不能夠沒有你，虽然你对我兇巴巴的，但是還肯定你是最好的。最重要的不是你如何的对待我或你的个性，而是你心里所发出对我说的每一句都对我的影响力都让我清楚知道你的好，你的存在对我是十分重要(当然上帝才是居首位)。以前的我在还没认识你时，生活或心里总是有好多空白的，自从你的出现后，让我开始看见在你身上有我所期待和缺少的，使我开始每天都想着你(还记得我们每天sms吗?)到现在也是如此，我的脑海里无时无刻每天都想着你。对你来说，可能在分手时我如何的对待你或你分手的心使你看见这msg只是我在放屁的话。yy，xx的生活里已经不可没了yy。现在的yy看xx已经是个错错措的人，因为yy是特地选择用眼来看xx的人，不再用心看心。那xx只好给yy具体的看看xx的心，看人看心yy是如何选择xx不知，只知道我们的幸福的日子难道就yy的一句就被毁了?经管xx一而再，再而三的生气yy但xx最后还是道歉了，丽，一个理智的基督徒应该很清楚如何判断一个人。yy是肉眼看xx的错，还是看xx道歉的心，哪个较重，你我都很清楚。yy要xx答应的，xx要yy时常提醒丽要xx做的，xx起码有做的都比没做的较多(yy看哪个较重)但对yy和xx都重要的xx都不用yy提醒也要yy叫xx做些什么，xx都自然的记住没忘过。24/5, 7/7, 16/7 yy，xx还记得。一对情侣在啪拖时，节日和重要的日子都是很重要的，请问yy当初自己认为说是xx要和yy分手所以才决心的对xx说分手，那yy有在xx2个星期后来找yy的原因先弄清楚吗?yy，不要再用自己的想法来对待我们两好不好?xx不是真心的话就决不会干那么多事。正常真心的男生都会这样的，那样的做来挽回和女生的关系，不是吗? (看的开点)只是用来安慰放弃者的，不是吗?xx不是要勉强yy，只是想让yy不要用自己的想法来遮盖xx对yy的心意，不然yy是不可能真真知道xx做些事情的原因。我们都不是说很成熟，所以彼此彼此还需要学习。要不是yy的出现，xx一定不会有如此的清楚知道和体验到爱和被爱，爱的基本基要，过程中的一切。yy，可以用 心 而不用口说 原谅我 吗? yy是明白的。但是难做到吧! 没关系慢慢的yy就知道也会领悟到如果是用 心 的话。

天意弄人

爱情，是否来得太不合时。。。

还记得当时的你，对你的感觉还深刻的。。
记得你高大的身形，潇洒的步伐。。。
我的眼目，真的难以转移你的身上。。
当时的我， 是那么的向往与你。。多么希望你会多望我一眼。。

现在的我，显然不再一样了。。
在我人生最低潮的时候， 你突然出现了。。。
很简单，很轻松的。。。
我也没想太多。。。 就只是朋友吧


上帝让我们的生命很精彩， 他赐下了爱情。。。
我不奢求些什么。。。 就这样的过。。。
但是你却毁了我们之间友谊的墙。。。
你挎出去了， 你不顾一切，你说出口了。。。
那是对我何等的残忍。。。 因为这一句话，我等了好久，好久。。。

但是，爱情来得太晚了。。。
还是我变了，变复杂了，顾虑太多了。。。
虽然我很高兴， 你终于都看到我了。。。
但是，我却放弃了你，
因为，我不够爱你。。。

过去，让他过去， 来不及。。。
从头喜欢你， 我却不够勇敢。。。
对不起。。。

由谁来决定？ 谁可来判断呢？
就交给神吧！

傻瓜

傻瓜 我们都一样

被爱情伤了又伤

相信这个他不一样

却又再一次受伤


傻瓜 我们都一样

受了伤却不投降

相信付出会有代价

代价只是一句傻瓜

copy frm fb, its meaningful

曾經，我覺得《第一次親密接觸》故事女主角－－輕舞飛揚是幸福的，死亡之前，透過愛情燃燒了最後一段生命，為人生留下淒美浪漫的結劇，那時，我只有18歲，也還沒認識PY。長大後才發現，現實中，“愛情”這碼事對折了翼的蝴蝶（注＊）來說，是奢求。既使多麼希望親吻陽光，多麼希望為了愛情的美好而奮斗，到最後，還是必須承認，原來，生命中有些事，不是努力就會有結果。毫無隱瞞的告訴男人関於紅斑狼瘡症的所有包括：這是個永遠不會治癒的病，基因遺傳的可能性，數也數不清的後遺症。。。沒有怨恨，沒有糾緾不清，她換上美麗的衣裳，讓男人記住自己的樣子，和平輿自己的愛情說再見。剩下自己，偶尔懷念過去的美好時光。為什麼要用最誠實的方式，考驗一個男人對愛情的承擔？“我不想隱瞞，更不想成他的負累。”為什麼分手？“他是独生子，而我的未來，太沉重。”為什麼不嘗試一起克服？“有些事，不是現在快樂就好，也不是兩個人在一起就能解決。一輩子，眞的很長。”未來，不能交給未來去決定嗎？“該離開的時候，不該貪戀。否則，只會讓自己變得更悲慘。”因為只經歷過“死別”的無從選擇，曾經，我以為，除了死亡，沒有什麼可以阻擋愛情。愛情的力量很偉大，偉大到可以排除一切障碍，現在才知道，我太天眞。紅斑狼瘡，是一種無止境的折磨，既使PY多麼努力活著，活得比很多人都精彩，都有意義。但是，和疾病抗衡的愛情，是她努力一輩子都無法跨越的深淵。因為，他的愛，太輕，承擔不起“折翼天使”的未來。所以？“放手，才是最好的結果。”PY笑著說那一刻，我開此了解，如果兩個人的生命太沉重，那就一個人精彩吧！如果愛情不能負荷生命的重量，她，只能選擇活得更寂寞一些

so hard

im slightly same condition wf a close fren of mine....
which is confuse in a star shape relationship...

1. my x.....
he is weird in my fren sight...n even my parents...
most of them wondering, how can i get into relationship with him...
now, im really regret... since he had done sumthing that had disturb my fren n family..
after v had broke up... im totally free... feeling liberty in my life..
he is a kind man , 1st i met him...
but now, wat can i say about him... is so childish..
i nvr think that, he could do all the useless things to hurt me... again n again
v r really hard 2 communicate...
i had given up in this relationship...
its considering a nightmare for me...


2. tall guy

he treats me so good, tat i have nvr been treated for...
im so surprise that, there is a man in this world that can so care 4 me...
i thank God tat i really enjoy the feeling of being loved...
he always care for me.... my feeling, my thinking.... me
he always do sweet things for me that is havent being asked frm me..
i really feel that im pampered... juz like a babe..
he is so gentle 2 me... n respect me...
but the most sad thing is.... i cant love him..
not bcoz of my family, sister....( i really dun care so much about them...)
but me....althogh my heart is so touched... but i didnt luv him..
i feel that im so selfish... i dun want 2 lost this guy who cares for me so much...
but, i dun love him.. im so casual with him...
but this is a really a spring dream of mine...
i will keep this deep down in my heart



3. skinny guy


he is so thin... looks like so unsecure...
he makes me wan2 sayang him, may be bcoz of his figure??
he is the 1 who score the highest marks frm my parents...
he got a very very good background, cert... family..
i like his family...
im not sure whether he likes me o not..
bcoz he is a kind of shy boy... n he never tell me about this..
mayb its juz the misunderstanding of me gua...
all i knw is: he is not my cup of tea...
no feel... the time v get 2gather is so natural...
so free, no burden, no shame...
its juz like best fren...
i like him 2 b my fren more than lover...



4. shorty


he is cute, but he is not a christian...
i dunno y.... i juz feel that he is the most stable guy among them..
he is hardworking... n wat i knw about him is not good thing at all...
anyway, i dun want 2 think about him anymore...
coz he is not christian, n v will have a very different future...



5. my love


there is a very big gap btwn us....
i have nvr think that v can get 2gather...
i really love him, but i wont let him knw ....
juz keep this love... deep down in my own heart..



so.... wat shall i do?
God, plz help me...
n i believe that God will make a way, where there seems to be no way...

keep bleeding

ngo zhen ge gok tek ngo hao ng hoi sam,
ngo ng hai gong yan dei xiong hoi zho ngo...
nai hei, wo mou met qing cho ngo ji gei ai den met ye...
ngo fet yin gan go dek ji gei hou set bai..

bet dan ji hei ngo ji gei ge gam cheng sheng wu...
jiu xun ngo de gong zhuo, ngo dou guo dek hou ng yu yi..

shen a, qing nei gao gao ngo..
ngo go dek ji gei hou hong hui..
yan sheng mou met ye yi yi..
dan hei , shen dui ngo tai hou le,
wo ng ho yi gu fu kui..

wo shen ji fu go dek, yo guo deng yan you jut zheng,
ni guo zhao hai shen dui ngo de fun doi...

ngo hou gui,
ngo ng xiong zai lem hou duo ye...
you kei hei guan yu gam zheng sheng hut de...

ngo jiu lei dou tou ng dou hei..
ngo zhen hei xiong yeu hou hou de tam yet cheung lvn oi..
met dou ng hou lem...
bei ngo hoi hoi sem sem gem guo yet guo yut, hoa mah?

kao kao shen teng dou gou...

password

i had forgot this blog password for a l0ong time
n finally, i request 2 change my password
n i hope i wont forget again
n always meet wf some guys who cares for me

this thursday i got a no idea exam have to sit for
i pray tat God will help me
and i hope those who owe money, plz pay back
dont excuse too much